A Shadow in the Sun
by paper and peonies
Summary: The first case Veronica can't solve is her own. A future fic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hi all! This is my first story in the VM fandom. I've written in many others, but starting fresh with this fandom. I have a bunch of fics on my computer - six at the moment - that I'm working on in shifts, but this story has been the kind that snuck up on me and demanded to be written, and I just wanted to get it out there first. No idea how long it will be, and it may be a while between chapters (other stories have more written than this one). I'll probably start posting other fics while posting this one, but my life is pretty crazy and hectic, so if I disappear, it doesn't mean it's been abandoned!

**Warnings:** This story is DARK. I don't want to give too much away, but it's not a happy tale. It's a lot of sensitive subject matter and bad things happening to kids. Please, PLEASE don't read if it will trigger you in any way, or if you just really want a happy story. I hope there will be more to this story than just sadness and angst, but there is a LOT of angst. So, proceed with caution.

**Pairings:** L/V all the way, always and forever :)

**Spoilers:** This story assumes ALL of VM canon, including the movie and the book. If you haven't read the book, it's probably not going to ruin much for you, but I have read it, and so it's likely incorporated into my storyline in some small ways.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything in the VM universe. The OCs are mine, but that's it! Story title is taken from The Glass Pears "My Ghost."

Chapter One

"Shh, shhh," Veronica murmured soothingly, bouncing fourteen pounds of inconsolable baby in her arms and just praying something, anything would work. Her little girl was red in the face and kept rubbing at her eyes in exhaustion even as she continued to wail. Lottie had finally, finally fallen asleep an hour ago after a night full of screaming, but the pain in her ear woke her again a mere thirty minutes later. It was too soon for more medicine and Veronica was at her wit's end trying to calm her youngest. The poor thing was probably starving, too, but she was crying too much to take the bottle, and if this kept up much longer, Veronica was taking her to the hospital. They had seen the paediatrician yesterday and gotten antibiotics to clear up the infection, but things had only gotten worse since then.

Veronica checked Lottie's right ear for any signs of discharge, and finding none, carried her into the bathroom where the dropper and a bottle of olive oil were still sitting out. It was a struggle to get the little girl still enough for the dropper, but Veronica was a veritable expert at this point and did it quickly and efficiently. Lottie's howling dulled a little as the oil offered some mild relief, and she let her weary little head drop against Veronica's chest and hiccupped softly as she regained her breath. A fraction of the frustration dissipated as little baby breaths warmed Veronica's skin. She sighed in exhaustion and dropped a kiss to her baby's crown of wispy blonde hair.

Leave it to an Echolls to take her from exasperation to pity to absolutely heart-melting love in less than sixty seconds. "Is that better, Sweetheart?" Veronica asked her miserable girl. She could feel Lottie relaxing and going limp, and even though Veronica desperately wanted to put her down and have coffee and something to eat, she didn't dare just yet. Keeping her upright seemed to help with the pain, and until she was totally sound asleep, she would want her mother's touch.

Charlotte "Lottie" Echolls was, ironically, the one they planned. Their first baby had been a mistake, a total fluke of bad timing and lack of self-control. She was a beautiful, beloved mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. Logan had been on his second and final deployment, and Veronica had decided to switch her birth control. The day she was supposed to see her doctor, the case she was working on got really interesting and required her utmost attention. She cancelled the appointment, and by the time she got around to making a new one, her old prescription had expired. With Logan on the other side of the world, missing a month of birth control hardly seemed like a big deal. She scheduled the new appointment and she would start her pill again as soon as her next period came around.

Unbeknownst to her, however, Logan was presented with the opportunity to come home early. It was rare to be able to surprise Veronica with anything, so he jumped at the offer. They had been renting a house by the beach together, and she came home one night to flowers on the kitchen table. She had stared at them for a full minute, bewildered how they might have gotten there, and then Logan stepped out of the bedroom.

In the thrill of the completely unexpected reunion and the absolute relief of having him home safe for good, Veronica forgot about her little birth control dilemma. She forgot right up until the day her period was due. She'd been regular for so many years, and when the date on the calendar finally struck her, she already knew what had happened.

There had been a surprising lack of shouting that night. Veronica expected Logan to flip out when she told him she might be pregnant. Renting the house together had been the most serious step they felt ready to take, and suddenly all those talks about the future – the ones they'd been avoiding – would have to be fast-tracked. They were still living in the happy glow of their reunion, and suddenly they had to get very serious, very fast. Logan didn't have a plan yet, no idea what he was doing with his post-Navy life, but he only nodded calmly when she explained everything in a frantic, desperate rush. He kissed her once on the forehead, grabbed his keys, and picked up a test from the drug store.

An hour and three pregnancy tests later, he held her in their bed while she cried. After that, they took a long walk along the beach and talked about their options. He didn't once try to bolt or yell or ask her how she could let this happen. She could see the thinly veiled fear behind his eyes, but he kept his voice calm and level, and he held her hand the whole time.

Nine months later, Evelyn Mae Echolls was born. They knew from the start who she would look like, her brown hair a dead giveaway, and it felt right to name her in honour of Lynn. Her name had quickly been shortened to Evie by her adoring family, and really, it was funny how quickly and how naturally they went from a pseudo family of two to a real family of three. For two people who hadn't ever even talked about kids, they took to parenting quite easily and naturally. They both had plenty of examples of what not to do, and Evie was just exceptionally easy to love. They had always made a formidable team when they had the same objectives, and parenting Evie was no exception. They were good at it, they liked it, and they found a natural rhythm to it in those first few months.

Before Evie came along, Veronica had insisted she and Logan weren't ever getting married. She planned to stay with him forever and that was enough for him. They rented the house and took things a day at a time, committed to one another but still with that safety that Veronica needed. It was silly, really. She was in love with him, completely and forever. Losing him would gut her whether they were married or not. But there was just something about the institution that frightened her, like it was cursed or something, like saying those words and wearing those rings meant they one day would fall apart just as she had seen so many times.

Those arguments started to matter less and less once they had Evie. Some nights Veronica would watch him rocking their daughter to sleep and just know that he couldn't leave them. And one day she was just ready. They didn't throw the big party and she didn't wear a poufy white dress, but the day was perfect and beautiful and everything she ever could have wanted. They wed on the beach in a small ceremony with only the people they loved most around them, and then they went home.

Eventually, Logan took a job flying private charter flights around the area, and it worked perfectly for scheduling. With both of them able to pick and choose their hours, someone could always be with Evie and it could be a true partnership in parenting. Neither of them ever had to completely stay home and Evie could still be with a parent almost all the time. It was easy. It was right. Veronica was happier than she had ever been in her life. Then suddenly, one day, she wanted more.

_"__Evie, look at the camera. Look at Daddy, Evie," Logan coaxed as his daughter giggled happily and completely ignored him with the camera. She had bright blue icing on her lips – and on her dress – and Veronica had spent almost an hour trying to get her soft hair in curls, and her hard work had been completely demolished by all the spinning and jumping. Still, she was the most beautiful sight Veronica had ever seen, all happiness and light and sunshine. "Evie!" Logan tried once more, and just then, Evie flashed him her most dazzling of smiles. Logan laughed and snapped the shutter, and Veronica couldn't wait to see what he'd captured later. Though she was still the designated photographer for the family, he was trying to learn, too, always wanting to preserve these most precious moments of their little girl's life. _

_A moment later, Logan abandoned his camera, placing it carefully on the table and scooping up his laughing daughter. Now there was blue icing on Logan, too, but Veronica didn't care. How could she, when Logan was twirling Evie and they were both so amazingly beautiful? How had they ever managed to get so lucky?_

_ "__Now that is a happy kid," Wallace noted as he stepped to her side and took a sip of his beer. _

_ "__Which one?" she quipped. _

_ "__If you had told me ten years ago Logan Echolls was going to be a good dad…"_

_ "__Always bet on a long shot, Wallace," she grinned. "The payout really is the best."_

_ "__Always knew you were a marshmallow," he teased, and she slapped him playfully and stole his beer, taking a long swig before handing it back. "For that, you owe me those snickerdoodles I know you hid somewhere."_

_ "__In the kitchen," she sighed. "The jar on the island. Are you sure you need more sugar?" she called after him even as he bolted away from her. _

_Alone again, Veronica turned her attention back to her husband and daughter. She could hardly believe her little girl was three already, and suddenly, Veronica felt a strange wave of sadness. At two, she was still a baby. At three, she was becoming a little person. A little person who was growing up so quickly. And suddenly Veronica missed that, having a warm baby snuggled against her chest. The longing hit her so swiftly and with so much intensity it nearly knocked her off her feet. It wasn't something she'd thought about before, and suddenly she craved it with every fibre of her being. _

_The party wrapped up, their friends went home, and the wrapping paper and leftover food was discarded. They made love that night, and Veronica curled up next to Logan's side and rested her head on his bare chest. "I want another one," she told him quietly, plainly. _

_ "__You have another round in you after that party today? Gee, Veronica, I don't-"_

_ "__No, perv," she cut him off, slapping him lightly on the stomach. "Another baby."_

_ "__Yeah?" he asked, sounding only mildly surprised. _

_ "__Yeah, I really do. Is that weird? I was looking at her today and suddenly I just missed having a baby."_

_He was quiet for a moment, and she wondered if this conversation maybe should have waited. She had no clue if Logan ever thought about another kid, and they were already so happy. Why mess with a good thing? She was about to say as much when he kissed her on the temple. "Let's do it," he agreed. _

_ "__Seriously?"_

_ "__Seriously. We already know we make perfect kids. Let's do it again."_

And just like that, they had. A month later, Veronica was pregnant. They were both delighted to find out it was another girl, thrilled to give Evie the little sister she was hoping for. When Lottie was born, it felt like their little family was complete.

Having two certainly changed the game, Veronica mused now. With Lottie still clutched to her chest, she made her way to the kitchen and set about making coffee as quietly as possible with only one free hand. Sometimes, on days like this, she thought back on that day and wondered if she had been crazy to one another one. Even as she hated herself a little for even thinking that while holding this tiny person she loved so completely, days like this were a challenge. She and Logan tried so hard not to yell at or in front of Evie, and she'd let herself get to that point today. She missed the days of two parents and one child; even when she and Logan were both home, it seemed like one of them was always on point. For the last eight months since they brought Lottie home, their relationship had lost a little of its steam and magic. Lottie was so much more demanding and so clingy, always wanting her mom, and by the time both she and Evie were down for the night, the last thing Veronica wanted was someone else touching her. It had been weeks since she and Logan made love, and that was unusual for them, even three years into their marriage.

As the melancholy rippled through her, Lottie let out a little snore as only a baby could. Veronica allowed herself a tiny laugh and kissed her daughter's blonde head again, abandoning the coffee just long enough to go put her daughter down in her crib. Lottie stretched herself out and continued to doze, and Veronica shook away the lingering sadness and doubt as she gazed down at her sleeping infant. Hard as this was, she couldn't truly bring herself to regret anything. These long, long days were going to pass, and deep down, she knew the distance between her and Logan was temporary. They'd made it through enough now to know that for sure. Lottie would grow out of the fussiness and become a little person with her own unique personality, and no doubt she would be as charming and hilarious as Evie but with her own special twist on the Mars-Echolls genes. They'd gotten so incredibly lucky with one near-perfect baby, so it was only fair they struggle with the second like most normal parents.

In the meantime, Veronica debated a touch of something extra in her coffee to take the edge off. And hell, maybe the little bit that might eventually make it through to Lottie would mellow her out a little. With the Mars and Echolls genes, she'd probably handle it like a champ.

In the kitchen, Veronica picked up her coffee and a banana and sat down at the table with her phone. It was flashing with a message from Logan asking after Lottie, and she smiled a little at his tender concern as she fired off a text assuring him that their youngest was settling down okay.

She hadn't even had a chance to bite into the banana before their house phone began to ring. "Dammit!" Veronica cursed aloud, slamming the coffee down on the table as she rushed to grab it before the sound woke Lottie. She didn't make it, though, and Lottie was wailing again by the time Veronica answered. "Dad?" she asked in exasperation after seeing his number on the caller ID. "Dad, please, I thought you knew not to call! You woke Lottie and I just-"

"Veronica, Honey," her dad cut her off, "I need you to come down to the police station."

* * *

Many years ago, when Keith was relatively new to the position of Sheriff of Neptune, there had been a fatal car accident that took the life of a young mother and her six-year old son. It had been a terrible thing, one of those accidents that seemed to come out of nowhere. It was a bright and sunny afternoon when it happened. Neither driver was drinking or driving or recklessly. One miscalculation, and Keith and his deputies were taping off the scene and trying not to cry. The scene wasn't one Keith would easily forget, but it wasn't the scene that bothered him most about that accident.

It was the phone call.

He couldn't ask one of his deputies to do it. It just didn't seem right. They were all shaken by the scene, and he felt it was his responsibility to take the lead. Oh, he hadn't told the man his family was dead over the phone, of course. That part came later, at the hospital, but at least by then at least there was some preparation for terrible news. It was the phone call that shook Keith the most about that experience. It was picking up the phone and calling this husband and father to let him know the people he loved most in the world were hurt.

Later, that phone call had haunted him. He couldn't sleep for imagining what that man had felt like when he got the call. Coming home to his own wife and child had been bittersweet that night, filling him with both the desperate relief that it hadn't been him and the terrible fear that one day it _would_ be him. It wasn't his first tragedy on the job, wasn't his first death. But it was his first child fatality. And despite the fact that he was in law enforcement and knew very well all the terrible things that happened to people, he had somehow felt invincible. When he looked at Veronica, he just truly believed nothing bad could happen to her. The world just wasn't supposed to be that cruel. Dads weren't supposed to lose cute little girls. Parents weren't supposed to bury their children.

Once he'd made the phone call, though, he knew better. He knew how it happened now. He knew one day he might be sitting on the couch watching a football game or reading the paper when the world crashed in around him. He knew the words that might be spoken to him if that day ever came. _"Mr. Mars, we need you to come down to the hospital. It's about Veronica," _some anonymous voice would say. And his world would be over, just like that.

The agony of that phone call paled in comparison to the one Keith was about to make to his daughter. He knew exactly where she was and exactly what she was doing, and it was about to be her moment, the moment she would forever remember. No matter the outcome of this, she would never be able to forget the day her dad called and brought her world down around her.

He picked up the phone but didn't dial yet. Instead, he thought of her, how she had looked this morning. His usually calm, put-together daughter looked wild-eyed and teary, big bags under her eyes like she hadn't slept in weeks. His youngest grandbaby was wriggling and wailing in her arms, the ugly cries distorting her otherwise adorable little face. If he reached way back, he could remember those days, the days your little one was sick and there was so little you could do to calm them. Veronica had been a little drama queen herself as a baby, her lungs disturbingly powerful as she let everyone know exactly how unhappy she was. Lottie had gotten that from her, but despite having been there and done that, Keith couldn't have wished this on his overwhelmed daughter. Besides, she had another little person to keep happy, and though Evie had skipped to the door all smiles and excitement, he could also see the relief on her little face when she escaped the noisy chaos of home with him.

She had no idea what the day held in store for her. None of them did.

He set the phone back down, finding himself not yet brave enough to do it. Because after this call, he had another one to make, another life to shatter. He'd always been so hard on his son-in-law, always just a little afraid of the power he held over Veronica. He had always felt for the kid, but he'd been the Sheriff when Logan was nearing the height of his delinquency. It was hard to see his own daughter falling in love with that troubled boy. Even later, after the two of them had spent nine years apart, he had been disappointed that Veronica returned to him. He just wanted his daughter to have all the happiness in the world, and though he knew Logan had the potential to give that to her, he also had the potential to ruin her.

Logan joining the Navy had done wonders for changing Keith's perspective, but it was Logan becoming a father that truly brought Keith around. Whatever shortcomings he'd exhibited in the past, he was making up for them tenfold in the way he loved his daughters. It was hard to believe that the troublemaker Keith had put in the back of a squad car on several occasions was now a dad who read storybooks with funny voices and tamed hair into neat little pigtails.

His son-in-law was in San Diego today recruiting other young people to make a difference with their lives by joining the Navy. He didn't like those events, but the Navy loved having him. His continued celebrity drew people in, and his natural charisma kept them hanging on his every word.

Logan would get the phone call while he was over an hour's drive from his family. He'd be on his own the whole way back to Neptune. He had lost so many people to tragedy, but this? This would destroy him. Keith was hurting, and he was terrified, but he still had to admit he was just the grandfather. Logan was her dad, the dad whose sun rose and set on that little girl.

"Keith? I'm sorry, but did you still want me to go pick up Veronica?" Deputy Clayton asked as he stepped over to the desk where Keith was sitting.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah, sorry, I just…need to make the call."

"The sooner we can get this out there, the better," the young deputy reminded him solemnly.

"I know," Keith agreed. "I'll give her a call. You head on over. Thanks, Deputy." Norris just nodded, and Keith watched him go before picking up the phone and dialling his daughter's number. "Hi Honey, it's me. Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I…I have something I have to tell you."

* * *

Logan was bored. He really hated these events, dressing up in his old Navy getup and sitting at a table for hours, passing out information to disinterested passers-by and then inevitably being spotted by people who knew who he was. It had been years now since he was last in the news, but plenty of people still liked to gawk at Aaron Echolls' son and Bonnie DeVille's former lover. His career as a pilot was secondary to most of these people, but he did manage to hook a few sometimes. It was when he could talk about the flying that he remembered why he always agreed to help out with these events. Seeing another young man or woman light up at the thought of flying those planes? That made it all worth it. When he could transcend his celebrity and just talk to some kid who needed a little guidance, who needed purpose and discipline the way he had…well, then he was in his element.

But today wasn't one of those days. There wasn't much of a crowd, and the people trickling through didn't seem to be stopping at his table. He entertained himself by scrolling through old photos on his phone, checking his e-mail, and eventually texting Veronica to make sure she hadn't gone insane with Lottie yet. He felt bad leaving her this morning with Lottie suffering so badly with her ear infection, but he couldn't help feeling a little relieved to get out of the house. Yesterday had been his day home with the girls, but Veronica had come early when Lottie's temperature rose and the crying got worse. While Evie had always been content with whichever parent could get to her first, Lottie seemed to only be truly soothed if it was Veronica who was holding her. It didn't make sense, really, since Logan was around almost as much as Veronica, and it made him feel strangely jealous. He took great pride in his relationship with Evie and the fact that he was so good with her, so having his second child so unhappy until her mom came and saved the day…well, it stung. He knew it was silly, babies were babies and it wasn't that Lottie actually loved him any less. But being a dad was far more frightening than flying a jet over a war zone, and he lived in near-constant terror that he was going to mess it up. Having a few hours away from his unhappy infant was just what he needed right now.

"Echolls?" a familiar voice asked, startling Logan away from the screen of his phone. He looked up and spotted an old friend from one of his first times serving abroad.

"Hunt!" he said happily, quickly rising out of his chair to embrace his friend. Sam Huntington was a hell of a pilot and a damn good friend to Logan when they first served together, and they had exchanged a few e-mails and calls over the years, but it had been a long time since they'd actually seen each other. Last Logan heard, he was still stationed in Norfolk. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Virginia?"

"On vacation, if you can believe it. I met up with another buddy and he told me you were here," Sam explained. "I couldn't pass up the opportunity to drop by and see you in the flesh! Jesus, can't believe it's been so long."

"Yeah, no kidding," Logan agreed.

"Man, last I heard from you, I'm pretty sure it was right before that whole murder rap thing."

"I think you're probably right," he laughed shortly. "Things uh, got a bit hectic after that."

"Well, I have some time. Want some coffee? I'll grab it and come join you back here."

Logan enthusiastically agreed, and he spent the next hour swapping stories with Sam. His friend wanted all the details of Carrie's case, of course, and he remembered Veronica from a few of Logan's stories back when they first worked together. It didn't take long for Logan to bring out his phone and scroll through the pictures on his phone, even as he wondered how he'd gotten to the point that he was that dad. He used to have maybe three photos on his phone, all inappropriate, and now he had over a thousand of silly things like finger paintings and close-up shots his daughter had accidentally taken of herself.

"Those are some seriously cute kids, man," Sam laughed as he handed back the phone. "Bad break, though. Two girls? My oldest just turned eight, and she's already got the worst attitude," he shook his head. "I feel lucky my youngest two are boys."

"Nah, I wouldn't know what to do with a boy," Logan admitted. "I'd be too worried he'd turn out just like me. Although now I guess I have to worry the girls will turn out just like Veronica. I'll probably be giving them tasers by the time they're your daughter's age."

They talked a little longer, and then Sam needed to go back and join his family. Logan extended an invitation for the whole family to come join them up in Neptune for a day, promising they would have a little cookout on the beach. Logan didn't have many opportunities to socialize with other guys from the Navy, and it would be nice to actually get to introduce someone to Veronica. He always loved to show her off a little, and if he could off the girls as well, he'd be a happy man.

They were just about to swap phone numbers when Logan saw his phone light up with Keith's name. "Do you need to get that?" Sam asked.

"That's my father-in-law," he frowned. "I better take it. I think he's watching Evie today. Lottie's had an ear infection and we pretty much got no sleep last night. I'll be right back," he promised. He stepped just out of range and answered the phone just before it went to voice mail.

"Logan, it's Keith," his father-in-law greeted unnecessarily. Something about the

tone of his voice sent a chill down Logan's spine.

"Keith?" he asked nervously. "What is it? What's going on?"

"Logan, you need to come home."

"What? Why?" he asked, his heart beginning to race.

"We can talk when you get here. I need you to just be safe and drive home. Can

you do that?"

"No, I can't do that. What the hell is going on?"

"Logan…"

"Dammit, Keith, just tell me what the fuck is going on before I lose my mind here. Just tell me they're okay, please," he begged.

"Logan, Evie's missing."

_**TBC**_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Forgot to mention in the first chapter, the rating is just for disturbing content and occasional bad language. Most updates won't be the fast, but I figured with a new story and the way the first chapter ends, might as well go ahead and post this! Thanks to everyone for reading, alerting, and reviewing! I'm new to writing in the fandom and really excited to be a part of it :)

Chapter 2

_A year and a half earlier _

In retrospect, perhaps Logan should have listened to Veronica when she insisted three-year olds didn't need epic blowout birthday parties. In general, Veronica didn't like doing anything that could be perceived as flaunting their wealth, and hiring caterers and decorators and party planners for a child's birthday party was the sort of thing real 09ers did. Despite the fact that she lived in the zip code and drove a fancy car, his wife never really could claim to be part of that group. And Logan liked it, really, liked that she kept him grounded. He wanted Evie to grow up better than he did, so perhaps spoiling her, giving her everything she wanted, and hosting birthday parties that made TMZ were not the best route.

So he just hired the caterers. And then bought out the party store of every single detail that matched the theme of her under the sea birthday party. Now that it looked like the ocean vomited on his house, he wondered if perhaps he had gone a little too far.

"Where are the hot chicks?" a voice asked from behind him. "Man, your party planning skills have really suffered since the old ball and chain. Not even a keg in sight. Good thing I brought the party pig!"

Logan turned and saw Dick stepping into the kitchen, thankfully holding a handful of brightly (and probably professionally) wrapped presents instead of the threatened party pig.

"Relax dude, I'm kidding," Dick rolled his eyes. "The party pig won't debut until at least the fifth or sixth birthday."

"Veronica will be thrilled when I tell her we can finally scratch your name off the guest list."

"And deprive Evie of her cool Uncle Dick? Come on, the kid has to have at least one fun influence."

Logan gestured pointedly to all the crap in the room. "Think I have that covered. And no keg, but there is beer in the fridge. Presents over there," he said, indicating the table already teeming with gifts even from their small circle of friends and family. It seemed he wasn't the only one who spoiled Evie.

Dick had just set the gifts down and was headed for the fridge when a tiny rocket hurtled into the room and straight into his arms. "Uncle Dick!" she cried excitedly, strawberry blonde curls flying everywhere as she jumped up.

For all his bluster, Dick's whole face lit up as he scooped up Logan's daughter. He held her just briefly upside down, causing her to squeal with delight, then quickly righted her again and settled her against his chest. "Well hello there, Miss Evelyn," he greeted her. "Can you help me with something? I heard someone was having a birthday today, but now I can't remember who."

"Me!" she giggled.

"You?" he raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? How old are you?"

"Ummm…" Evie held up her hand, studying it carefully. Logan stood back and grinned, wondering if she would be able to remember what he had been teaching her all week. Her little fingers didn't quite have the coordination and dexterity necessary, so she would hold down her thumb and pinkie with her other hand. She fumbled for a moment, then proudly presented him with her hands. "This many!" she announced.

"Three?" Dick asked, feigning disbelief. "No way. How did you get so big?"

Evie just laughed happily and dropped her head on Dick's shoulder. It was a cute but totally strange sight, one Logan still couldn't believe sometimes. Dick still wasn't a person that he would, say, call to come babysit, but he often dropped by on Logan's days at home with Evie. She had a way of charming everyone she met, and Dick was no exception. And it was probably good for Dick to have someone love him like that, so purely and innocently. It was a foreign concept where they came from, and Evie's joy was just so infectious.

"Corrupting my daughter already, Dick?" Veronica asked as she walked in. Her smile betrayed her as she looped her arm through Logan's and watched Dick tug lightly on Evie's pigtail.

"Nope. Promised Logan the party pig will wait a few more years."

Evie lifted her head at that. "Pig?" she repeated, and Veronica laughed aloud. "Good luck with that, Dick! She doesn't forget anything. Next year she _will_ be asking

where her pig is."

"I hear they make excellent pets," Dick grinned back at her. "All right, tiny one. Go enjoy your party," he told Evie, setting her back on the ground and watching her scamper away.

"She's a mess," Veronica shook her head. "She's already spilled juice on herself, and I've fixed her hair twice. She's going to have more outfit changes than Cher."

Evie's laughter rang through the room from where she had tackled Wallace, and Logan glanced down at his wife. They shared a meaningful look – they both knew it was more than worth all the trouble to hear that sound.

"Ugh. You two are such _parents_," Dick accused in disgust. "I need to go find normal people before the sap spreads."

He wandered off with his beer, probably going to torment Mac, and Logan pulled Veronica closer and kissed the top of her head. "I, for one, like being a parent."

"Who knew, right?" Veronica joked. "We're not doing so bad at this. She made it to three and everything."

"We didn't even forget to feed and water her."

"Well done, team!" she high fived him. "Ooh, there's my dad. I need to go

question him. He was being cagey about what he got her. If it's a pony, I'm going to be so mad."

Logan released his wife with a laugh and headed over to greet Mac and Wallace, grabbing his camera off the counter as he passed by. It had been a gift from Veronica for his last birthday, along with a few lessons in how to use it. He was nowhere near as good as her, but he still loved capturing photos of his daughter. He just wanted to preserve every moment, still amazed that _this_ was his life. Sometimes it felt hard to believe he hadn't always wanted this. A life of domestic bliss wasn't really what he craved as a teenager, nor was it something he really believed he could have. Even when he left the Navy, he wasn't thinking about things like marriage and kids and family. He thought he would miss the adrenaline rush, the socially acceptable rush of danger. He flew boring routes now in boring planes, but he found he didn't miss it at all. He liked knowing he would come home each night to his wife and his daughter, and he liked knowing that he was going to be there for his daughter in a way his parents had never been for him.

They were getting this right. It seemed impossible to believe that he and Veronica, of all people, were not just doing marriage but also parenthood right, but there was Evie, all smiles and giggles and sweetness. In a sudden burst of need and emotion, he reached over and grabbed his daughter away from Wallace. "Daddy!" she cried, trying to be upset with him but then dissolving into laughter as he tickled her. He felt his camera being taken off his shoulder, then heard the click of the shutter, but he was too busy covering his daughter's face with kisses to pay it any attention.

* * *

_Present_

The TV in the living room was on, the news repeating the story of Evelyn Echolls' disappearance in an endless loop. It was morbid to have it playing, but Logan couldn't take his eyes off the coverage even as he bounced an unhappy Lottie on his knees. A picture filled the screen, one of him with his daughter at her third birthday party. It was early, before she'd gotten icing all over her face, and he vaguely recalled someone taking the picture as he had cuddled Evie to his chest. At the time, he had just felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by how much he loved her, overwhelmed by how lucky he had gotten.

Now he was overwhelmed again, but for a very different reason.

He was no stranger to the word _gone_.

First there was Lilly. Lilly, who had been such a force of nature she seemed unstoppable right up until the moment she wasn't. Lilly, who had tormented him, Lilly, who had loved him. He had lost people before her, grandparents and distant relatives, but Lilly was the first of many who loved him and left him. The loss of Lilly had been so unexpected, so cruel. They weren't together at the time, and he had spent so many months wondering if anything would have been different if they were, or wondering if they would be together again if she was still alive. The open question marks and the dissolution of life as he knew it began one long downward spiral, a spiral that both gave him Veronica and took her away. He hadn't been a completely happy person before Lilly's death; his father always made sure of that, but he'd had hope, at least. His hope died along with Lilly, and nothing was ever the same again.

Then there was his mother. If Lilly's death had gutted him, his mother's suicide had nearly eviscerated him. At least Lilly didn't _choose_ to leave. His mother, on the hand, wanted out. And she didn't care if it meant leaving him behind. It had been harder to accept that she was gone, harder to believe that he would never catch the whiff of her perfume mixed with the aroma of her drink again, harder to believe she would never again press a kiss to his forehead and whisper that she loved him. Lilly had been a fixture in his life, but his mother had for so long been his whole life. The only bright spot in his world as a child, the only person he ever counted on completely. Her death shook him to the core, made him question all those whispered professions of love. If she really loved him, how could she leave him with Aaron? Turning a blind eye was one thing, leaving him was another.

His father was the next to go, but for the first time, Logan experienced what it was like to be _relieved_ someone was really gone. And relief was really the only word for it. He wasn't glad, really. He wasn't happy to be an orphan. But Logan, like everyone else, had never been completely immune to the charms of Aaron Echolls. Theirs had been a complicated relationship consisting mostly of hatred, but always, _always_ there was that undercurrent of love, just enough to make it truly twisted. There were always times that Logan believed it when his dad said it was his fault. There were always times he wished he could be better. And in the rare moments when his father was happy with him or proud of him, Logan felt like the world was at his fingertips. By the time he was a teenager he had stopped craving approval, realising it would never come, but he still sometimes found himself believing his dad might actually love him. It all finally came to an end when they discovered the truth about Lilly's death, but then came the acquittal. And Logan was afraid. Afraid of the power Aaron always did have, afraid of the power Aaron always would have. _Gone_ was a weight off his shoulders. _Gone_ was a promise that he could never be used and manipulated by his own father again. _Gone_ was the hope of finally escaping his curse of a family and finding something better.

There were others still after that. Cassidy, the friend he thought he knew. Carrie, the girl he thought he loved. But at the end of all the loss and all the heartache, he finally found his something better in the three people who completed his world. Really, Veronica had been more than enough. Living the rest of his life with Veronica was reward enough for making it through all the shit before. When he held Evie in his arms for the very first time, it was like every loss, every ounce of pain was just leading him up to this moment, emptying him out so he would have room for this complete, all-consuming joy. The day Lottie was born, he had helped Evie into the bed with her mom, and then he had oh so carefully placed little Lottie in her arms. There, in a hospital room in Neptune, sat his whole universe. And he had never imagined that anyone could be so happy.

There was no word that could adequately describe losing that kind of bliss. There weren't enough words in any language that could convey what _gone_ meant to him now. He, of all people, should have known how easy it was to lose everything in the blink of an eye, but this still felt impossible. He felt like he would wake up at any moment and be back in his house with all of his girls around him. Not knowing if that would ever happen again – if it could happen again – took _gone_ to an all new meaning.

The last few hours had been his worst nightmare. Actually, he was pretty sure he was living an actual nightmare he'd had before, when Veronica was first pregnant and he would lay awake at night imagining all the things that could go wrong. By some miracle, none of them had. They had a smooth, uneventful pregnancy, and Veronica delivered Evie just three days past her due date. Evie was as healthy as could be, and beautiful to boot. By the age of four, her personality was truly developed, and Logan loved each day he spent with her, discovering new facets of the little person he played a part in creating. And each day, he grew a little more complacent, a little more convinced nothing bad could happen.

The last few hours weren't just a nightmare because they were awful; they were a nightmare because they couldn't possibly be real.

It had been five hours now since he got the call. Four and half hours since he arrived breathless and terrified to the Sheriff's office. And one hour since they set up camp at home instead of the interrogation room. Veronica hadn't wanted to go home, hadn't wanted to leave the nerve centre of the investigation, but she also refused to let Lottie out of her sight. The FBI agents, Kelly and Barnes, had finally convinced her it would be better if they did this at home.

Logan felt helpless walking through the doors of his house knowing Evie wouldn't be here, knowing there was nothing he could do about it. There was a joint team assembled now, deputies handpicked by Keith to work with the FBI, and volunteers for the search team had been at it for hours, scouring every last bit of Neptune in search of their missing child. And Logan was just sitting at home watching strangers on TV talk about his daughter as though they knew her, as though they could possibly understand how horrible this really was.

"Mrs. Echolls, was there anyone else who might have known that Evelyn wasn't with you today?" Agent Barnes was asking Veronica.

"Evie," Logan corrected listlessly. "We never call her Evelyn." It was a useless distinction to make, it didn't actually matter a time like this, but Evelyn reminded him too much now of his dead mother. Really, what had they been thinking saddling their daughter with a name like that?

"I'm sorry," the agent responded politely. "I'll try to remember that. Anyone who might have known?" she tried again.

"No," Veronica shook her head in exasperation. Tear tracks still stained her cheeks, and it made Logan feel even worse. Veronica wasn't one to show her emotions if she could help it, but for the last few hours, she had been vacillating wildly between rage and despair. "No, I've told you. It wasn't a planned thing. The baby was sick, I was tired and frustrated. I called my dad and he picked her up. I didn't talk to anyone else between."

"And what about you, Mr. Echolls?" the agent asked.

"A few of our friends knew I was going to San Diego and that Lottie was sick. But that's it," he shrugged.

"Tell me again how this happened," Veronica demanded, whirling to face her father. Keith had come with them back to the house, despite the very clear hostility from both parents. He was leaning now against the wall, head in his hands. He looked older than Logan had ever seen him, more haggard and exhausted than any of them, really. Any other time, Logan might have even felt bad for him. If it had been any child but Evie, he would have been defending his father-in-law.

But it wasn't another child. It was Evie, and she was supposed to be safe with her grandfather today.

Keith looked up, his expression dripping with remorse and self-loathing. "She

wanted to go to the park," he answered hoarsely. "I was playing with her for a while, but there were some other kids about her age. I let her play, and I was sitting fifteen, maybe twenty feet away. She was happy, she was having fun."

"Did you see anyone watching you, Mr. Mars?" Agent Kelly asked.

"No one," he shook his head. "There were other parents, nannies maybe, but everyone appeared to be watching their own kids."

"Why did you stop?" Veronica asked, tears beginning anew. "How could you stop watching her?"

"Veronica," her dad answered pleadingly.

"Mrs. Echolls," Agent Barnes interjected gently, "I know this is difficult, but your father has gone over this with us. The other parents all reported the same thing. Another child was hurt, and everyone was distracted. We have the details we need. We should go over-"

"I don't have all the details _I_ need!" Veronica protested heatedly, and Logan instinctively clutched Lottie a little closer to protect her from the noise. "I don't understand how a four-year old disappears from a park full of people and no one notices! I don't understand how the person who was supposed to be watching her didn't _hear_ or _see_ anything!"

Keith was crying now, silent tears rolling down his cheeks. "I don't know," he admitted weakly. "I don't know, Veronica. I wish to God I did. It was three minutes. I had just looked at my watch, and I looked again when I realised she wasn't there. It was less than four minutes, total."

It seemed like no time at all, but Logan had taken Evie to that park many times. She had been playing in the field by the swings, no doubt leading the other kids in some game born of her wild imagination. Logan had certainly never timed the walk, but he could picture it now. It was no further from that field to the parking lot than it was from his spot on this couch to the far end of their living room. He could probably walk it in under thirty seconds. The sound of a car door opening and closing, an engine starting, a car pulling out of the parking space…none of that would have seemed unusual, none of it would have drawn attention. With three minutes to work with, whoever had taken her still had more than enough time for the lure. Even being generous on the time from the field to the car, there were probably at least two full minutes to talk a young, innocent child away from the safety of her friends and the playground and into the waiting vehicle.

That parking lot was less than a mile from the freeway. Within five minutes, Logan's daughter might have been heading anywhere in the world. By the time anyone realised she was really and truly missing, it was already too late to pick up the trail.

"We're checking traffic cameras," Agent Barnes offered. "Pretty much everything in the area. With the time we're working with, here, it's most likely she was taken somewhere in a car. There's a possibility we may be able to find that car and who she might be with."

"I don't understand," Veronica shook her head. "She knows better than to go with a stranger. She wouldn't do that," she insisted. "Someone at that park has to know something. They heard something or they saw something and they're not talking. Evie wouldn't get in the car with someone she doesn't know."

"I know it may seem that way, Mrs. Echolls," Agent Kelly countered carefully, "but no matter how well kids are taught not to go with strangers, it still happens. One of the kids at the park did say she saw the man Evie went with. We're trying to get more details out of her, but she's quite young. It's hard in those circumstances to get anything we can really work with. Right now I think we should focus on who might have a reason to take her. It may look to be a stranger abduction, but nine times out of ten, it's not. Is there anyone you can think of that might have a reason to try to hurt either of you?"

"Would you like that list alphabetical or chronological?" Logan couldn't help asking bitterly. "My wife's a PI and I'm…well, who I am. We've pissed off a lot of people."

"Is there anyone in particular you could think of? Someone with a score to settle?" Agent Kelly persisted. "Or what about any threats?"

"I used to get creepy letters and e-mails from time to time, but that's mostly died off," he shook his head. "We got some back when Evie was first born, but it's probably been at least a year or two since anyone's tried that."

"Do you keep those letters and e-mails?"

"I've looked into every single one of them," Veronica interjected. "If there was a credible threat from anyone I would have followed up on it."

"All right. I'd still like to see them, but what about cases, Mrs. Echolls?"

"I'll go through all my files, see what stands out."

"I think that's a good start," Agent Barnes agreed.

"What about a ransom?" Logan asked. "Isn't it pretty likely that's what this is about? They must have gone straight for her. Maybe it's someone looking for money?"

"I'd say there's a fairly good chance of that," Kelly nodded. "We've opened a tip line, but you should let us know immediately if you're contacted directly. It can be tempting to pay anyone who claims to have information, but as you probably both know, 99% of those calls are scams, someone looking to turn it into a profit."

Logan knew Veronica had some contact with a group who specialized in that sort of thing, back when she was working the Hayley Dewalt case. The FBI probably wouldn't approve of them getting involved, but Logan didn't care. He would pay any sum to anyone who might be able to help them determine a real ransom from a scam; hell, he'd pay anyone anything they asked whether it was true or not, just on the off chance it might lead him to Evie. He would bleed their accounts dry, sell the house, sell everything he owned just to get her back. One look at Veronica, and he knew she was thinking the same thing.

"We'll get out of your hair now," Agent Barnes offered. "We have security out front, and you can reach either of us anytime on our mobiles. We'll keep you updated about any and all developments."

"Hang in there," Agent Kelly added uselessly. "I know how frightening this is, but right now we operate under the assumption that she was taken for a purpose, and that it wasn't to hurt her. We'll be doing everything we can to bring her home safe."

Veronica looked away, and Logan wondered what she knew that he didn't, what she'd learned working these kinds of cases. "Thank you," he answered tightly, shaking both of their hands. They bid their pleasant but solemn goodbyes, reminding them once more to call if they had anything at all to report.

As soon as they were gone, Veronica turned on her father again. "I think you should go," she told him quietly.

"Veronica, please," he pleaded. "You know I would have never let anything happen if there was anything I could do to stop it."

"All I know right now is that my daughter is missing," Veronica choked. "And I can't look at you right now."

"We'll call you," Logan added softly. He was angry, too, but he could tell how distressed Keith was and just couldn't find it in his heart to blame him right now. "We just need a little time."

Keith nodded reluctantly and looked like he was going to try to hug Veronica, then thought better of it. "I love you," he told his daughter seriously as he walked towards the door. "And I love Evie. We're going to find her."

Logan walked his father-in-law to the front door. "Thanks, Keith," he said quietly. "We're just…"

"I know," Keith nodded, placing a shaking hand on Logan's shoulder. "You call if you need me, okay?"

"I will," he promised. He watched sadly as Keith left, and then suddenly they were alone. The house felt silent and empty, and Logan tried to take a deep breath but it felt like there were bricks sitting on his chest. He felt his cheeks growing wet and reached up to wipe his tears away.

He hadn't thought of anything but Evie since he got the call, but it was strange the way it hit him. He'd been quiet and stoic with the FBI, and now all of a sudden he felt like he'd been hit by a truck all over again. It seemed any moment now he was going to wake up, and then he didn't and she was still gone. And he was no idiot. He might not know as much as Veronica, but he knew time wasn't on their side. The longer they went without a clue, the less likely it became that Evie would ever come home.

His knees went weak and his head suddenly felt strange and detached. He was aware enough to realise he was holding Lottie, so he stumbled back to the couch and sank down just before his legs went out. Startled, Lottie began to cry again. But Logan didn't try to soothe her, didn't care right now that she was as unhappy as the rest of them. Veronica was beside him in a second, and he felt her head drop to his shoulders as her hot tears dripped onto his shirt.

"What are we going to do, Veronica?" he choked out.

"Find her," she managed. "I'm going to find her."

"What if-" he began, then couldn't finish the thought, couldn't let himself go down that path. He'd been thinking it all day, picturing the kind of person who might have taken Evie, who might have some sort of terrible plan to hurt his daughter…had maybe already done it. But he kept trying to push it away, trying to convince himself missing didn't have to mean forever, that she could come home and laugh and play the way she always had.

"That's not it," his wife insisted. "It's not. They want our money or they want me to do something for them. I know it. I just know."

"Okay," he agreed, too desperate to contradict her. And if she said it, he believed it. Because he and Veronica didn't lie to each other, especially over their kids.

Veronica sniffled, and he could feel her pulling herself together beside him. She lifted her head from his shoulder and reached for Lottie, scooping her up and climbing off the couch. "She needs to eat," she said softly.

"Yeah," he agreed. "So do we. Spaghetti?" he offered. It was one of Veronica's go-to favourites when she was having a bad day, and it was easy enough for him to put together.

"Sure," she nodded, but she cradled Lottie to her chest and didn't make a move to leave the room. "I yelled at her this morning," she admitted after a long pause. He didn't say anything, sensing there was more. "I was just so tired. She kept asking me to start her movie over and I snapped."

"It happens, Veronica," he said gently.

"I try so hard not to take frustration out on her. And I told her I was sorry,

but…why did I have to yell at her?"

Logan didn't know his heart could be broken any more today, but the last time he'd seen this much anguish on Veronica's face, they were standing on the roof of the Neptune Grand. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to crush Lottie in the process. "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "It doesn't matter."

"I just don't want her to think I'm mad at her. God, why did it have to be today?"

"It doesn't matter," he repeated once more. "You're right. We're going to find her and bring her home. She already knows you're not mad, Veronica. She knows how much we love her. And she knows we're going to find her. We're a family and that's what we do." He kissed the top of her head, wishing he could take this away and bear it all himself. As much as he was hurting, it made it even worse that he couldn't fix it for Veronica. At least Lottie was too little to know what was happening. "Go feed her," he urged quietly. "I'll start dinner. Then we'll find our daughter."

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews, alerts, and reads! I appreciate the feedback on my first journey into the VM fandom! To anyone who is worried about where the story is headed, PLEASE feel free to PM me. I don't want to spoil things for those who aren't into that, but I certainly understand people wanting to know what to expect with the sad subject matter. **

Chapter 3

_A year and a half ago_

"Mommy?" a sleepy voice asked from the doorway.

Veronica looked up from her computer, trying not to groan in frustration when she saw Evie standing at the end of the hallway and rubbing at her eyes. It had been the longest day today, beginning with Evie throwing up at 5 AM. By 6 AM, Veronica had diagnosed her with a stomach bug and was fighting back her own nausea. She was just getting past the morning sickness phase of her pregnancy, and watching her little girl get sick didn't do wonders for her questionable stomach. The last thing she wanted to do was stay home and deal with this all day, but Logan already had a flight booked that would take most of the day. She spent the whole day alternating between comforting Evie, cleaning up the bathroom, and making phone calls in between to try to track down a lead on her latest case.

Her respite finally came an hour ago when Evie fell into an exhausted sleep. Logan still wasn't home and Veronica was sorely tempted to just curl up and take a nap, but her case had been seriously neglected today. She made a cup of tea and got comfortable on the couch with her laptop, intending to spend the rest of her night tracking down leads.

Clearly, her daughter had other ideas.

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?" Veronica asked, setting her laptop aside and patting the space on the couch next to her. "Does your tummy hurt?"

"I'm hungry," Evie lamented. "My tummy is rumbly."

"Are you sure you're hungry and not feeling sick again?" Veronica asked worriedly, dragging herself off the couch to meet Evie. She brushed back her tousled hair and placed a hand on her forehead, finding it thankfully free of fever. She'd been a little warm all day, so hopefully it was a good sign and the worst of Evie's illness was over. She'd been trying to coax just a little food into her daughter all day, so it was a good thing if she really was hungry now.

"I'm hungry," Evie repeated. "My tummy feels okay now."

"All right. Let's go see what we can find then."

When Logan finally returned home twenty minutes later, he found both his girls in the kitchen. Veronica was leaning against the counter watching closely as Evie ate some plain noodles, and she smiled gratefully at the sight of her husband.

"Daddy!" Evie cheered happily, about to jump out of her chair until Veronica stopped her with a stern look.

"Hey, no running," she shook her head. "You're still sick. Can you eat more?"

Evie nodded and turned back to her noodles, so Logan stepped to her side and ruffled her hair, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Hey Sweet Pea," he greeted. "Feeling better now?"

"My tummy doesn't hurt now."

"Good," he smiled. "And Mommy?" he asked, ruffling her hair once more before stepping over to kiss Veronica hello.

"Exhausted," she admitted. "But glad to see you. Did you eat? I can make more pasta and throw together sauce."

"No need. I have food coming for both of us in just a minute."

Veronica clapped her hands together in supplication. "Please tell me it's curry?"

"What else?" he laughed, sliding his hand beneath her shirt to the slight curve of her stomach. "I have to please this little one and the incessant need for spicy."

"I don't know what it is. Next week I'll never want it again," she shook her head. "But for now, thank God for Indian delivery." She rubbed her hands together in excitement, her mouth practically watering at the idea of her favourite curry and naan.

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "I'll get Evie back to bed. Go get comfortable," he insisted.

She didn't argue with him and tousled Evie's hair before retiring once more to the living room sofa. The food arrived while he was dealing with their daughter, so she paid the delivery guy and tipped him generously, since technically their house was a little past delivery range. When she returned to the couch, however, Logan had Evie in his lap and was wearing a sheepish expression.

"She wants to watch a movie," he admitted.

"Evie," Veronica scolded. "You've been sick. You need your sleep."

"I'm not sleepy!" she protested.

"That's okay. You'll get sleepy."

"Please, Mommy?"

"Yeah, please, Mommy?" Logan grinned angelically.

Realising she was beaten, she rolled her eyes and collapsed on the couch with the food. "I get your naan," she advised her husband.

"Don't you always?"

She shot him a look, and he just chuckled and scooped Evie up to search through the movie collection.

Within thirty minutes, the food was polished off and Evie was sound asleep with her head on a pillow in Logan's lap and one tiny foot beginning to invade Veronica's space. The movie played on in the background, and Veronica tried to keep up the act that she was really researching on her laptop. But Logan was starting to nod off, exhausted by his long flight today, and Evie's little foot kept kicking. She always slept like that, always moving some part of her. Her energy just never stopped, even when she was sound asleep. Veronica set the laptop aside, abandoning the idea of really getting anything else done today. Logan would have Evie tomorrow, and she could catch up on her work in the office. She reached over and brushed Evie's hair out of her face, admiring the adorable face in all its sleepy innocence. She let her other hand rest on her stomach, admiring the tiny bump that was starting to emerge as their second child grew within her.

Days like today were supposed to be the ones that reminded her why this fantasy had never really appealed to her. Cleaning up vomit, neglecting her work, setting everything aside for the needs of a husband a child…it was supposed to be an annoyance. She'd never let anything get in the way of a case before, but now, even the most interesting of cases paled in comparison to the wonder of little moments like this, when all the people she loved so much were happy and safe beneath one roof.

Having a family changed everything, but not the way she expected. She was still herself, she was still the same Veronica who doggedly followed every lead and never stopped until she found the truth. She still did what she loved to do, but these people around her just made her better. She knew what mattered now, knew when it was time to let go, just for a while, and see the simple perfection in a moment.

The case could wait for tomorrow, and that was something the old Veronica, the pre-marriage and babies Veronica had never been good at accepting. Smiling to herself, she grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and stretched it over all three of them. Logan stirred slightly, blinking a little before focusing on her. "Hey, sorry," he whispered. "Want me to-"

"No," she whispered. "No. Let's just stay here."

* * *

Veronica wasn't much of a crier. It wasn't that she never cried, it was just that she had found tears rarely did her any good. She'd done her share of bawling in the shower when she was at her most heartbroken, but in the end, tears didn't make her mom stop drinking, tears didn't bring Lilly back, and tears didn't catch her rapist – or even convince Lamb that it was real. No, she had learned her lesson the hard way. When tempted to tears, it was usually best to stop crying and _do something._

Sitting on her couch with her laptop in front of her, remembering a night so long ago, she couldn't stop the tears. She was back on the case, back to the endless research and the relentless pursuit of a lead, but this time, the room was dark and empty. The sun had gone down hours ago, and she hadn't been able to talk herself into standing up even long enough to turn on a lamp. There was no tiny foot pressed into her side now, no husband beginning to snore while an animated film played on the television.

No, their house was silent now. No laughter, no little girl movies, no tiny breaths beside her. The words on the screen blurred in front of her, tears obscuring her vision.

Logan and Lottie would be home soon. He had taken their youngest with him to the meeting with the search team this evening, knowing Veronica needed a break from their fussy child. Veronica was trying so hard not to resent Lottie; her baby girl had no idea what was going on right now and why her mom and dad were so distracted. But that was driving Veronica crazy. She could barely look at Lottie without thinking about how her little world kept spinning without Evie here. She wondered if she noticed the lack of a big sister, if somewhere in that tiny little mind she sensed something amiss. Evie loved her little sister, and she loved trying to help with her. She was just at that perfect age where having a baby sister was like having a little doll, and so the two had been together all the time. Did Lottie know something was wrong? Did she miss the familiar voice who loved to talk to her like she might just start talking back? Did she miss the big sister who always tried so hard to make her laugh?

Veronica missed her. Veronica missed her so much. It hurt to breathe sometimes, hurt to live another minute, another hour, another day. It seemed impossible that Evie wasn't here. In her four years of life, Veronica had never been away from her for longer than two nights. Logan had taken her up to the mountains once, just after they found out she was pregnant with Lottie, and though it had been peaceful and romantic and amazing, she had missed her daughter so much. Without cell reception at the cabin, she hadn't even been able to talk to Evie. By their last day, they scrapped plans to stay for dinner and headed back first thing in the morning so they could pick her up.

She had no idea then what it meant to really miss her daughter. It had been five days now, five days since she last heard Evie's voice or her laugh. She hadn't run her fingers through strawberry-blonde tangles in five days, hadn't tucked her in or kissed her cheeks or told her that she loved her.

And now she didn't even know if Evie could still miss her. The thought she had suppressed for five long day invaded now, refusing to be deterred. _What if I'm looking for a killer? What if she's already gone?_

She was crying too hard to hear the lock turn in the door. When she heard footsteps behind her, she didn't bother to look up. Her husband stopped for a moment in the doorway, but then she heard him divert course, wander down the hallway, sneak into one of the bedrooms. When he sat down next to her, he no longer had Lottie in his arms. He sat stiff and silent, unsure of what to do, and Veronica felt a wild moment of panic and despair.

She didn't know what she even wanted him to do. They hadn't held each other and cried since that very first day, choosing instead to pretend everything was going to be okay, that this was just a normal case and everything would be back to normal soon. If he touched her, she thought she might never stop crying. But she ached for comfort, for someone to whisk her away from this. That was the sort of thing Logan always wanted to do for her, and the first time she actually wanted to take him up on the offer, he was just as helpless as her.

"C'mere," Logan finally murmured, picking up the laptop and moving it to the table, then opening his arms and pulling her to his chest. She couldn't bring herself to resist, and she cried miserably into his chest. He ran his hands over her back and kissed her hair, and she cried harder and tried to draw comfort from his warm embrace and familiar scent.

But she was tired. She was so, so tired. She had barely slept in all this time, preferring instead to spend her nights in front of her laptop cross-referencing every single person she'd pissed off with last known whereabouts and criminal records. After five days of dried up lead after dried up lead, she just wanted to sleep. She wanted to fall asleep and wake up when Evie was home safe again, but with every hour that passed, she became more and more convinced it was never going to happen.

"I talked to Joe on the way home," Logan told her quietly, referring to the ransom expert he had hired to weed through the many phone calls and letters and e-mails they received claiming to have information in exchange for money. "He has a lead that might be credible. I have the funds ready if it turns out to be real."

She wondered if he really believed it or if he just wanted her to believe it. Surely he knew by now. Surely he knew that five days without a real lead meant something terrible. Surely he didn't really think that they just had to wait a bit longer before the kidnapper would waltz in, demand money, and then return their daughter in perfect pristine condition. But then, she hadn't exactly been forthcoming about any of this, had she? Ever since Hayley Dewalt she'd taken on a lot more missing persons cases, and she knew the patterns, knew the statistics. She knew that just over half of children abducted by strangers ever came home. She knew that 76% of children killed by an abductor were killed within the first three hours. She knew that five days missing, without any contact or taunt or request for a ransom most likely meant whoever took their daughter had plans to hurt her from the start, that he hadn't actually known she was Evelyn Echolls.

He was just a monster. A monster who had seen an opportunity and took it. A monster who was ready to strike, who was waiting in the park for the right child, the right moment, and found it the second Keith Mars turned away.

Logan didn't know any of this because Veronica couldn't tell him. How could she? _She_ was supposed to be the one to crack the case. _She_ was supposed to be the one who found the lead and chased it until she found Evie at the other end. And even though he was her husband and they were in this together, even though he couldn't be in any more pain than she was, she still felt like she had to protect him. It was an old desire, born of his pain when he lost his mother and his father and had nowhere to turn. There was a very old fear of him walking perilously along the side of a bridge that constantly reminded her she could survive, she could endure, but he might not. She was supposed to rely on him and trust him, but her daughter was gone and she wasn't speaking to her father and she had to keep him here with her, even if it meant lying to him. She had to protect the part of her family she still had left.

He held her a while longer until her tears dried up. "I'm sorry," she whispered eventually. "I'm sorry I can't find her."

"We're going to," he insisted. "But you don't have to do this, Veronica. You've been through all these files. Maybe it's time to just let Joe and the FBI work on this."

"You know I can't do that," she shook her head, sitting up and wiping at the lingering tears on her cheeks. "I can't sit on the sidelines and let someone else look for her."

"It was worth a shot," he smiled gently. "You should at least try to get some sleep, though. Take this at a more normal pace. You've hardly slept in a week."

She chose not to point out that he only slept because of the small glasses of amber liquid he kept nursing. He wasn't trying to hide it from her, and they did each have their vices. Hers was information, research, investigating, and his was the alcohol that numbed him long enough to let him get a few hours of restless sleep before the nightmare started all over again each morning. "Okay," she agreed.

"Mac and Wallace came this evening. They said you haven't responded to calls or texts."

"I've just been busy."

"They offered to come by tomorrow and keep us company, keep an eye on Lottie for us and do a few things around here."

Veronica bristled at the idea of her friends coming to pitch in. She didn't want to see how they were faring, didn't want them to see that she was barely holding it together.

"Just something to think about," he offered when she didn't respond. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," she lied.

"Pizza?"

"Sounds great."

A loud cry cut them off, and Veronica automatically looked to Logan. The guilt hit her even as she did, but Logan just nodded and stood up. This was the routine they had settled on now, Logan attending to most of Lottie's needs, getting up in the morning and bringing her to Veronica, putting her to bed at night, soothing her when she cried. Veronica just couldn't do it, and she was glad Logan didn't question that, didn't make her put it into words. She would hate herself even more if she had to voice all she was feeling, and if she did, she just might break and never put herself back together.

She loved her youngest daughter. Really and truly she did. But Evie wouldn't have been at that park if Lottie hadn't been sick. If Lottie hadn't been screaming, Veronica wouldn't have yelled at Evie and then sent her to spend the day with Keith. None of it was her fault, of course, but if not for Lottie, Evie would still be here.

She used to think she wasn't so bad at this, didn't make such a terrible mom after all. Unable to look at one daughter and the other missing…maybe it was time to re-evaluate.

When Logan returned, she had ordered the pizza and opened a bottle of wine, deciding to join him to night in his numbing rituals. It wasn't until they had each poured a second glass that he spoke again.

"Your dad was there tonight."

"Logan."

"He doesn't look good, Veronica. You have to know he's miserable."

"And we're not?" she challenged. "I don't want to talk about this with you."

"I know you don't," he acknowledged.

"He was supposed to watch her. None of this would have happened if-"

"You think I'm not mad? You think I don't sit around thinking about all the things that might be different right now if he had just kept his eyes on her?"

"Then how could you even bring this up?"

"Because he's your dad. Because you won't talk to him or our friends or even me more than you have to. They love you. _I_ love you. We all just want to help."

"Then don't bring him up again," she demanded coldly and took a huge gulp of wine, tears stinging her eyes as the alcohol burned in her throat.

"He's not the bad guy, Veronica."

"Well, who is?"

She slammed her glass down and stalked outside to the deck, unable to bear another second of this conversation. The despair she felt earlier was now replaced by rage. She wanted to throw something, wanted to break things. There was a vase outside on the table, left out from some event long ago, and she very nearly did it, nearly picked it up and threw it at the wall as the anger bubbled through her veins.

_It's not fair,_ she seethed. Before she could stop herself, she was down the stairs and into the sand, kicking off her shoes as she ran to the edge of the water. The beach wasn't very hospitable here, so not many tourists wandered along, and the lights from the nearest house were just barely visible along the shoreline. So she screamed up at the darkening sky, her agony wordless but loud and rough and raw.

_My daughter is gone_, _my daughter is gone_, she kept thinking.

The water was brutally cold against her feet, and a large wave splashed nearly up to her knees. She thought, just briefly, about wandering out further, letting the chill take over so she could stop thinking, stop wondering, stop picturing it all. But a voice in the back of her mind stopped her, reminding her that she was a mother, that she didn't get to give up. She wasn't Lianne, she wasn't Lynn. She had to fight this and face this and find a way to keep going.

She stepped away from the water and sank down in the sand, staring out over the rough waves. She heard Logan walking to meet her, and she didn't shy away when he wrapped an arm around her.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "We won't talk about it again."

"I'm sorry, too," she whispered. _For everything_, she didn't add.

They sat for a few minutes like that, both watching as the sky darkened and the stars came out.

_I will find you_, Veronica vowed, even as Logan stood and offered her a hand. _I will find you_.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the delay on this one! I've been tweaking it forever and still not totally happy with it, but ready to move on! Thanks to everyone for your responses and for sticking with my story!**

_Six months ago_

Logan had always been an early riser. It was a prerequisite for a surfer; the best waves always hit before the rest of the world fully woke. But even before he touched his first surfboard, he was always the first one in his house awake. Maybe it was the peace early mornings offered, the silence and the rare freedom from the oppressive presence of his father. He loved the light in the mornings, the pale golden glow and the way it reflected off the sparkling water just beyond their house. He loved the quiet of early morning, when it felt like no one else existed. And he particularly loved mornings in this strange new world of marriage and fatherhood.

Their bedroom was perfect, facing out over the water with large picture windows that had been the whole reason he got Veronica to agree to this house in the first place. It was bigger than she wanted, and its waterfront location made it far more expensive than anything else they had looked at, but in the end, this clinched it. They covered the windows with blinds but ultimately chose not to hang curtains, instead letting the morning sunlight creep in to wake them. It gave their room an ethereal glow this time of day, and every morning, he rolled over and watched the way the sunlight played against Veronica's skin and glistened off her blonde hair. She would sleep until the afternoon if her schedule and her children permitted, so when the first kid started to rouse and she made that small, sleepy noise of hers, he would kiss her on the forehead and climb out of bed to see who needed him.

Today, like most days, it was Lottie. He padded lightly down the hallway and fetched her bottle, warming it briefly in the microwave and then returning to her room just before she launched into her full – and incredibly loud - protest. "Hi Beautiful," he greeted her as he scooped her out of her crib. And there was another reason he loved mornings so much – it was the only time he really got Lottie to himself. She was such a mommy's girl and he didn't begrudge her that, but in the morning, she was just his. He would never admit it aloud to anyone, but he felt something just a little different for his youngest. It wasn't that he had a favourite, wasn't that he loved one more than the other, but Lottie…well, maybe he just saw something of himself in her. She was more difficult than her sister, and he could relate to that. But she also already looked so much like her mom. Maybe it was just the affinity for blondes that did him in, or maybe it was just seeing this tiny person who already looked so much like Veronica. He loved that Evie took after him, from her slightly darker hair to the shape of her face to the expressions she made, but staring down at this little face and seeing so much of Veronica looking back? Sheer magic.

Lottie cooed softly as he settled her against his chest and sat down in her rocking chair. She eagerly took the bottle, sucking hungrily as he sat and admired that perfect little face.

Life had been different since Lottie came along. Having Evie required their lives to change, their schedules to be altered, their normal way of doing things to be flipped on its head, but then, she had been so easy. They just sort of settled into a natural way of doing things, and though their relationship grew and deepened as the element of parenthood was added to friends and lovers, they remained much the same as always. Lottie, on the other hand, left them both frazzled and sleep-deprived and a little irritable. Maybe he should resent her for that, start to feel those first waves of regret and doubt and wonder if they'd done the right thing choosing to have another baby. Really, he ought to miss the sex they used to have. Veronica was too exhausted most of the time, and they were tugged in so many different directions during the day, it wasn't always easy to come back together.

But this was life. This was _normal_ life. Falling into bed at night, completely worn out, still feeling a little sticky from the remains of infant dinner and toddler fingers that grabbed and poked and prodded…this wasn't a life that was ever supposed to be his, and he couldn't regret a second of it. Especially not when the person sharing this life with him was _Veronica_. As a teenager, he didn't let himself think this far ahead. Later, on their second or third time around, he started to imagine things like rings and houses and forever, but then it was hard enough to make it through a week without having some relationship-threatening crisis. When they broke up that final time and she left Neptune altogether, he had to accept that a life with her was impossible. It didn't matter that she was the only one he could truly imagine marrying, having kids with, sharing his life and his home with. She didn't want him anymore, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Then she showed up, and she saved him just like she always did. But it was so much more than just salvation from (another) criminal case. It was the restoration of those nearly-forgotten dreams, it was redemption, it was the promise of all these mornings with her sleeping beside him and their children sleeping down the hall.

So no, he didn't resent the chaos of a second child, or the relative sexlessness of it all. It was cliché and he hated himself a little for even thinking something so cheesy, but he knew how quickly this tiny little person would grow. And when she got older he would miss so much about her and wish he could just go back. He might as well enjoy every single messy second.

Right on cue, Lottie sputtered on her bottle and spit just a little out. He quickly straightened her up and grabbed the cloth from the table behind him, draping it over his shoulder so he could burp her.

"Daddy?" a tiny voice asked from the doorway. He looked up and saw Evie peeking around the corner.

"Hi, you can come in," he smiled at her. "Did Lottie wake you up?"

She shook her head, but rubbed tellingly at her eyes. She was doing great with the adjustment really, much better than he and Veronica expected when they interrupted her perfect only-child life with this loud little imposition. Still, she had her moments of jealousy, and as she stood uncertainly in the doorway, he had a feeling this was one of those moments.

"Are you still sleepy?" he asked. "Want me to tuck you back in?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Hungry?" he tried again. "I can make you breakfast."

She just shook her head once more.

"Why don't you go get a book from your room," he suggested. "And then come and sit with me."

She didn't even answer, rushing away and into her room. She returned moments later and eagerly climbed up. It was difficult finding a way to accommodate both her and Lottie in the rocker, but he managed to get her squeezed in next to him as he held Lottie to one side.

That was the exact position Veronica found them in twenty minutes later. She didn't say a word, leaning against the doorway holding a cup of coffee as she watched Logan reading to Evie.

"Good morning," she greeted them all when Logan finished the book and set it aside. "Who's hungry?"

Evie eagerly scrambled out of his lap, apparently hungry now that she'd gotten her fill of attention. "Can we have pancakes, Mommy?" she asked hopefully.

"And bacon?" Logan smiled angelically at his wife.

She just rolled her eyes and waved her hand for them to follow. Realising now that her mom was in the room and had not yet greeted her, Lottie started to cry her most unhappy wail, and Logan quickly handed her over. "Oh, I'm sorry!" Veronica pouted at her. "Did I ignore you?"

"Lottie _always_ wants Mommy," Evie noted astutely.

"I'm not so bad, am I?" Logan asked her.

"No!" she laughed and hugged his leg. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Tiny One."

* * *

"Logan. Logan," a tired voice mumbled as someone shoved at his arm.

"Mmm," he grunted and tried to block out the sound.

"Logan, the baby," the voice persisted.

Logan rolled over and rubbed a hand over his face, blinking slowly against the morning sunlight invading the room. Veronica was beside him, and despite her insistence for him to get up, she still had her eyes closed with the covers pulled high over her shoulders. As his mind began to slowly sputter into action, he heard Lottie's piercing wails coming from her nursery. He fought the urge to ask Veronica to do it, or to just curl up and go back to sleep and let her cry. Veronica needed the sleep, and he wouldn't be able to rest easy knowing Lottie was awake and needed him.

He felt exhausted even after a night of sleep, and he shuffled stiffly down the hallway and made tiny shushing noises as he scooped the tiny girl out of her crib. Lottie was already red-faced and clearly frustrated with the poor response time this morning. "Sorry," he mumbled as he cradled her to his chest and started towards the kitchen for a bottle. She was crying so loudly it hurt his ears, and he paused outside of Evie's room and shifted Lottie to one arm. His hand was on the doorknob before he remembered.

He'd been about to check and make sure she was still asleep.

The realization nearly sent him to his knees, and he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood just to keep himself from crying aloud as a fresh wave of pain hit him.

Mornings had become his hell. Every morning he woke up and for a moment, just a moment, really believed she was still here. He woke up and mentally pictured walking down the hallway to see to Lottie and then check on Evie, but before his feet hit the ground, he remembered his daughter was gone. Today was the first day he'd made it all the way to her room before he remembered, and God, wasn't time supposed to help? Wasn't this supposed to get easier? When exactly would he wake up and already know his Evie was gone? Would he wake up one day and not instinctively think of her?

Part of him wanted that. Part of him wanted it to just stop. Every morning he lost her all over again, and he was ready for it to stop. At the same time, though, he never wanted a day to come that he just accepted Evie was no longer with them. It should never be okay that his daughter was gone. How could he ever get used to such a thing? He'd done it with his mother; parents died, everyone knew that. He'd done it with Lilly, even though it hurt, even though her ghost seemed to haunt him down the halls of Neptune High. Sometimes people were taken too soon and no one could explain why. And then he'd done it again with Carrie because really, it was what he always feared with her. It was what happened to pretty young girls with demons like hers.

But children shouldn't disappear. Parents shouldn't face the world without their babies. And getting used to her absence felt like abandoning her, like letting her down.

Lottie's crying grew even louder, and Logan was reminded just why he had to continue fighting through the agony each day and putting one foot in front of the other. It had been three weeks now since Evie disappeared, and there seemed to be no end in sight. With Veronica devoting every waking moment to searching for their older daughter, Logan was in charge of the younger. It was lonely and exhausting and terrifying, but he didn't know how to stop it, didn't know what to say. He was certainly no poster child for healthy coping mechanisms, but with Veronica, there was always the risk of her running away. The last time she had, he lost her for nine years. And so he just lived with the growing silence and the unspoken division of responsibilities. She searched for Evie, he took care of Lottie, and no one complained or made plans or even began to question when they stopped playing this game.

He grabbed a bottle from the fridge and heated it up, then returned to Lottie's room. As he fed her, he wondered when the breaking point would come. Was there some certain point when a parent was supposed to give up? Did Veronica know some sort of guidelines that he didn't? At what point did you just know it was over? All the movies he'd ever seen suggested he was supposed to know, he was supposed to just _feel _something. He wished he did. He wished he had some sort of connection with his daughter and just _knew_ if she was alive or dead or suffering. Instead, there was only emptiness that stretched on and on, a neverending question mark where one-third of his heart used to be.

The thought was so oppressive he nearly choked on it. For weeks now he thought worst case scenario was finding out his daughter was dead. Now it seemed there was another possibility, one that somehow might be even worse. What if they just never knew? What if there was never an answer about what happened that day, where their daughter had gone? Veronica would always, always be searching for an answer, and he couldn't really begrudge her that. But living like this for the rest of their lives? Barely speaking to one another, barely parents at all to the child they had left?

It was supposed to be over by now. She was supposed to be home. The kidnapper was supposed to call with their ransom demands, and Evie would be home safe in her bed, a bit frightened but recovering under the watchful gaze of her parents. Instead there was nothing, not a clue, not a lead, not a name that might point them in the right direction. Veronica had gone through all of her files twice now, followed up on every idea and every person who might have a reason to hurt them. And none of it panned out, none of it led anywhere.

Lottie finished her bottle before he could continue down that dark path. He forced himself to focus on the child in his arms, the only one he could really help right now. He cleaned off her face and tried to smile at her, but she just stared back at him with solemn eyes that seemed to understand far more than they should.

"We need out of the house," he informed her, and she blinked her pretty blue eyes back at him. He wasn't sure where he planned to go, but he needed to get out, just for a while. He talked quietly to his daughter while he got her dressed, then settled her in her swing while he got dressed himself.

Her bag was packed for a few hours out and he was jotting a quick note to veronica, just in case, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and stared for a moment, surprised his father-in-law was calling. They had texted a few times; Logan didn't feel right cutting the man out of all information, the way Veronica wanted, but he didn't really want to dare upsetting her further right now.

"Hi, Keith," he greeted quietly, cradling Lottie to his chest and carrying her outside where he could speak more freely.

"Logan," the other man responded, and Logan could hear the tears in his voice.

"Is everything okay?"

It was a stupid question, of course; nothing was okay. But he suddenly felt dread churning in his stomach, taunting him with the possibility that Keith might have been the first to know, that he was calling with the bad news.

"I just…I just wanted to call. To check in," Keith told him.

The knot in his stomach dissolved just a little. Logan was quiet for a long moment, not sure how to respond. But then he looked at his daughter, gazing up at him expectantly, and an idea occurred to him. "I'm just about to go out with Lottie," he finally said. "Do you want to meet us?"

"I'd…love that. Yeah. That would be…really great."

"We'll be at that coffee shop down your street in ten minutes." He hung up before Keith could say more and Logan could bring himself to second guess this. He was fairly certain Veronica would see it as a betrayal, but then, maybe she didn't need to know.

True to his word, he walked into the coffee shop ten minutes later, Lottie nestled happily in her carseat. Thankfully it was still a little early for the rest of the world, and the shop was mostly quiet. He spotted Keith sitting in the back, hidden away from the windows and the prying eyes that would undoubtedly gape if they saw the grieving family. As Logan walked over, he noticed that Keith already looked thinner than the last time Logan had seen him, the grief and the guilt obviously taking their toll on him. There was a small part of Logan that found satisfaction in knowing that the man who hadn't kept his eyes on Evie was suffering now, but that selfish feeling quickly evaporated as his eyes met Keith's. It could have happened to any of them, he knew, and it was only Keith's bad luck that it had been him.

"Hi Keith," he greeted quietly as he sat down in the booth across from him and carefully slid Lottie's seat in beside him. She squirmed at the sight of her grandfather, and Logan carefully picked her up and silently held her out to Keith.

"There's my beautiful girl," his father-in-law smiled sadly as he expertly handled her and brought her in close. "How's she been?"

"Her ears are better now, so that's a relief," Logan shrugged. "She's sleeping a little better now that she's not feeling so bad."

"Good, good," Keith nodded.

"We're planning to do the tubes as soon as the doctor thinks she's old enough. She just gets too many infections."

Keith made a funny face at Lottie and made her giggle softly. Logan's heart ached a little a the sound of it; it didn't happen nearly often enough right now, reminding him yet again that their lives were all turned on their heads. Evie was always so good at making her little sister laugh and loved doing it so much. Logan missed that with every fiber of his being, missed seeing his two girls together, missed watching them bond and grow and missed the sound of Evie's perfect laughs as they mingled with Lottie's.

Keith kissed the top of Lottie's blonde head and settled her back against his chest. He glanced up and probably saw the tears stinging Logan's eyes. "Hanging in there?" he asked quietly.

"No. Not really," he admitted. "It's been three weeks. I don't know what to think."

"I want you to know I'm doing everything I can, Logan. Every contact I've ever had, everything I can possibly think of…I'm doing it."

"I know. I don't doubt that. I just…I'm starting to think it's not going to matter."

"Has…has Veronica said anything?"

"No," he shook his head. "She doesn't tell me much about what she's doing or what she's looking for. I just know she's not finding anything. But I'm not stupid. I'm no detective like the two of you, but I still know…I know this story doesn't get a happy ending now. Kids don't disappear for three weeks and come back safe and sound."

"Logan…"

"Please, don't lie to me, Keith. You don't have to worry I'm going to do something stupid. I know I have a wife and another daughter to take care of. I don't want to hear the truth, but I don't want to hear more lies, either. Pretend I'm a client," he implored. "Pretend I'm someone who hired you to find my daughter and tell me what you would say if this wasn't your granddaughter."

Lottie gurgled something, and Keith shifted her in his arms to bounce her gently on his knee. He gazed down at her, and Logan saw a few stray tears leaking down the older man's face. "I think I would tell you that as a parent and a grandparent, you never give up hope," Keith managed.

"But?" Logan prompted, knowing there was more.

"But…" Keith continued, taking a deep breath as a few more tears rolled down his cheeks. "But you'll drive yourself crazy and ruin your life if you never let yourself grieve. There comes a certain point in these cases…"

Logan nodded and swallowed past the lump in his throat, feeling the hysteria rising and trying not to let it escape. "Are we at that point?" he asked quietly.

"I can't tell you that," Keith shook his head. "Because I can't pretend you're my client, Logan. I can't pretend she's a name and picture in a file. She's my granddaughter."

Logan nodded and blinked back his own tears, turning to stare out the window at their small city as it woke, the cars starting to drive past and the people walking out on the sidewalk. He felt so strangely removed from all of it, so strangely resentful that for most people, life just carried on as it always did. He felt like he'd been stuck for three weeks, as though the world had kept on turning while he stayed rooted in one awful place.

"Let me get you some coffee," Keith interrupted his musings. He just nodded and held out his hands to take Lottie back as Keith rose. She giggled again as she was passed back to her dad, and Logan tickled her tiny feet and found himself smiling a little as she laughed and kicked her tiny legs. He put her back in her seat and handed her a little rubber giraffe from her bag to keep her occupied, and she promptly stuck the whole head in her mouth, nibbling happily as she drooled all over the toy.

Keith returned and handed Logan a coffee, and he drank without paying attention to the scalding temperature. His father-in-law was quiet for a moment and took a sip of his own coffee, but Logan could tell there was something on his mind. It wouldn't take three guesses to figure out what. There was a reason Keith had called him this morning, and there was a reason he'd chosen his son-in-law instead of his daughter.

"Is she doing okay?" he finally asked.

Logan shrugged, not sure how to answer. Veronica was always okay. Veronica so rarely showed her weakness. She worked the case and she kept her chin up and Logan knew it meant she really wasn't okay, wasn't anywhere _close_ to okay, but there was nothing he could say or do that would make a difference. "You know as well as I do how she deals with things. She's looking for Evie." _The rest of us don't exist_, he wanted to add, but it didn't really seem fair to her. They each had their own ways of dealing with things, and this was hers. He couldn't really begrudge her that, even if he did ache for his wife, for the comfort they might be able to find in one another if she would actually let herself acknowledge anything about their situation.

"I'm afraid Veronica came equipped with the Mars family coping skills," Keith tried to joke, though his delivery fell flat.

"And I came with the Echolls brand, so I guess it was only fair," he responded in kind.

"I just want to talk to her, Logan."

And there they were, finally at the reason for the call, the real reason they were meeting here like this. Logan looked to his daughter for a distraction and found her still happily sucking on the ear of her little giraffe, covering it in sticky baby drool. He reached over and brushed his fingers through her silky blonde hair, focusing on her as he spoke. "I've tried to talk to her," he said quietly. "It doesn't work. Not right now. She's just not ready yet."

"I just want to apologise," Keith insisted. "One more time."

"Keith," he sighed wearily. "That's not…you don't need to-"

"I know she blames me," Keith's stopped him, his voice breaking. "I want her to. I want her to yell at me and hit me if she needs to. Anything would be better than this. Not being able to talk to her, to see her and see if she's okay…and Lottie. Logan, this is the first time I've seen Lottie since….since that day." His whole body was shaking now, and it ought to make Logan uncomfortable to see his father-in-law so broken and devastated, but they were long past that now. "Please. I know I have no right after what I did, but I just want the chance to see her and talk to her and I think you're probably the only person who can get through to her. You probably hate me and I don't blame you, but please, Logan, as a father…"

"Keith," he cut him off, "you and I both know the only person responsible is the monster who took my baby." The hysteria he had tamed earlier rose back up again, threatening to undo him soon. He knew he wouldn't hold it together much longer, not after voicing something like that. He hadn't acknowledged it aloud until now, hadn't acknowledged that some psycho had taken his daughter and would probably never return her.

"Yeah," Keith laughed humourlessly. "Except _I'm_ the one who turned my back and let him take her."

"Veronica knows this isn't your fault," he shook his head, feeling the tears burn his eyes. "But that monster isn't here. And you know the rule she lives by, rule she's _always_ lived by. Someone always has to pay." He let that hang between them for a moment, heavy and foreboding. He looked again to the baby beside him, blinking her little blue eyes up at him, completely oblivious to everything falling to pieces around her. He swallowed hard, knowing what he had to say next was one of the most selfish things he would ever ask (and really, wasn't that saying quite a lot?) but knowing he had to ask it anyway. "Someone has to pay," he repeated quietly. "And I'm sorry, Keith. I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but please," he choked out, desperate, "I need it to be you. Please, let it be you. Just for now. Just for…for the worst of it. Because if it's not you, it's going to be me. And I can't raise Lottie on my own, I can't do that," he confessed, not caring that he was crying right here in public. Everyone knew about his personal hell anyway. What did it matter if a few pictures of him sobbing in a coffee shop made it to the internet now? How much worse could it really get?

His father-in-law reached across the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. They had forged a fragile peace over the last few years since Logan became the father of Keith's grandchildren, but they'd never gotten to this point of physical affection or comfort. "Of course, Logan," he answered roughly. "Of course. I shouldn't have…"

"It's really bad, Keith," he admitted, managing to regain some control over his tears but still shaking as he allowed himself to really confront everything that was happening right now, everything he couldn't say to Veronica. "She hardly looks at Lottie. I'm afraid…I'm afraid she's going to realise Evie's gone and leave us, too."

"That's not going to happen," Keith shook his head.

"You know how she is. You know what she does when things are too hard. She's burying herself in the case now, but she'll have to stop eventually. I don't know what she'll do…" He brought a hand to his mouth to stop himself, then wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Sorry," he apologised. "I'm…"

"Don't," Keith stopped him. "I shouldn't have asked you to intervene."

Logan wasn't sure that was true, and he was fairly certain Veronica needed her father right now. Logan felt entirely overwhelmed by this, not sure he was going to be able to pick up the pieces when she finally broke. But he just knew he couldn't push her. She had made it clear she didn't want to talk to or about Keith, and that was Veronica, that was how she worked. They had both changed a lot through the years, but Veronica still had to have her time to process, to deal with things in her own way. He had to let her come to terms however she could and just hope and pray she still wanted to be with him at the end of it.

"I had my doubts about you, Logan," Keith acknowledged. "But that changed when you became a dad. You and Veronica…it works. You take care of each other - you always have. She's going to need you. Stand by her."

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "I couldn't."

Keith nodded appreciatively. "You should probably get back to her. She probably wouldn't be happy if she knew we were here."

"Yeah," he agreed grimly and turned to get Lottie situated in her carseat, reclaiming her giraffe and shoving it back in the bag. "Hey," he said as he rose. "Do you…maybe we could do this again."

"Yeah," Keith agreed, managing a sad smile. "Yeah, I'd like that."

TBC


End file.
